Old heartaches

Once again I am sorting through old mail deleting duplicates. I screwed up and resurrected a bunch of stuff that I really want to be rid of forever. At the same time I am building an archive of all of Paul's old gossip columns.

Here I am, working on my horror script, the second half is about the nature of denying grief and is a direct result of something Chris said to me after Dan died and I'm also reading all these old emails, getting sicker and sicker the closer I get to the day he died.

I hit it just as Catapult came on. The triple whammy. I always liked the part about being the last thing you see as you're falling asleep and I wonder how much longer Danny hung on after they took him away for the test from hell and I wonder if I was really there for him at the end.

There's also an email he sent this guy who was considering me for a reporter position in LA. Danny told him to hire me or die cold and sad and alone. Then he said that nobody could die sad if I was working for them because nobody could be sad around me. Then less than a month later he was dead and I was the sad one.