Still in a dreamy state and maybe that is just as well.

Sadly my vision has rapidly deteriorated in my left eye over the weekend. I'm kind of worried about it so I'm going to try to get in to see the specialist this week before Chris leaves. I keep thinking how so many people with this end up blind in one eye even with treatment and then I get nervous and hyperventilate and have to put my head down.

I keep thinking about this great horse that used to up at Jeannie's. She lost an eye in an accident. For some reason when horses go blind they tend to lose the other after. She lost both her eyes. I don't mean blind I mean no eyes at all.

She was kind of shocking to look at until you got used to her. But she was so kind and willing and I loved her so much. She could do anything a sighted horse could do. You could even jump her although I never understood how that worked.

The last time we saw her before Jeannie moved away we were up there and we were all playing in the field and Chris vaulted up on her back and rode her around, his eyes closed, his arms out at his sides like a scarecrow, hands loose and flopping, the sun shining down and the flowers blooming and this sense nothing bad could ever happen again.