National Pancake Day

The kids and I went out for pancakes today to celebrate National Pancake Day. Once again I was reminded that my memory is not the best. Last time we went to IHOP the waitress pretended to give up ginger ale but it was really coke mixed with sprite, a vile concoction with caffeine in it, a substance I prefer not to give my kids.

So I told today's waitress that last time we were there this happened and asked if they had real ginger ale and it turned out to be the same waitress, which I guess explains why Cam was kicking me under the table. The waitress was quite offended, although I was very polite, I explained that I take a lot of medication and I need to know when I get caffeine but it was no use. I mean, really, I was quite pleasant, I didn't say that last time we were there an idiot lied to us about our drinks or anything but it didn't matter. She was mad at us and I guess she did not remember that I tip pretty well, twenty percent of the original price even though we got a discount for the early bird special.

So she sends over this waiter who was really nervous and I heard her talking to him about us, I think he was expecting that I was going to be horrible to him. But I wasn't, I was nice as I almost always am to wait staff. I told him he was doing a terrific job and I thanked him and I left him a big tip. Next time I'll ask for him, if I can remember who the heck he is.

A nurse was sitting in the booth next to us and she shocked me. She was telling stories of patients who were brought into the ER drunk. She bragged (and that really is the right word) about how "mean" she is to these patients and how they are all liars. She started off telling a story about a fat chick who was found in someone else's house passed out with alcohol poisoning. The fat chick said later that she hadn't drunk very much, or at all and she didn't know how she got there. It sounded like she was with a guy and next thing she knew she was in the hospital. Of course the nurse didn't believe a word of it because who goes to the trouble of trying to get a fat chick drunk and then takes her home? Who would spike a fat chick's drink? We all know they can't possibly be attractive so it must be hogwash. The nurse kept going on about how she was dressed all wrong, in tapered jeans and how she should have been in sweatpants. I have no idea what this means but she sure found it meaningful.

Then she went on about a fourteen year old girl who sat up in the middle of getting a shot of Narcan, which proves she was on some narcotic even though she said she didn't take anything. The nurse said she called her a liar to her face. I don't know, is that the best way of getting the truth out of a scared young teenager? I think not but what do I know? I'm just a fat chick.

Then she says that the girl's toxicology screen comes back negative but it doesn't mean anything because it only tests for "the big seven" which she proceeded to list for her friends. She said it tests for narcotics but not ecstasy so she must have been on ecstasy because she had to have been on something to wake up with the Narcan shot. I don't know, I am not a pharmacist or anything but isn't Narcan specifically an antidote for narcotics, something she just said the girl hadn't taken?

I was so tempted to ask her why she is in the medical profession at all when she hates her patients, (she said so and that she never has any sympathy for them) but I was afraid I would find out she does it because she is a sadist and likes to hurt them. Or that she does it just so she can talk about them. The whole encounter was deeply depressing.

Cam was sick today so I took him to see Dr. Cindy who didn't know I have PTC and was quite shocked. She was also compassionate and has a suggestion for a neurosurgeon for me. I'm kind of intimidated because he is actually one of the best in the world and my in initial reaction was on no, I don't deserve him, he needs to be fixing people who are in much worse shape than I am.

But on the other hand, I've been basically confined to my bed for two plus years, I am very high risk for surgery, I threw up six times yesterday when we went to see Neil and I threw out four times today taking Cam to the doctor and the IHOP and all. Maybe I am sick enough to deserve this guy. Maybe.

Here is the link to my most recent column in which I talk about some movies and some book festivals.