Monday, March 05, 2007

Startlingly condescending article called How to Get Your Girlfriend to Play Video Games

Google is featuring a how to called How to Get Your Girlfriend to Play Video Games. Sadly it's both cliched and condescending. I will give the author(s) some credit for trying but trying isn't always enough.

Some girls may prefer the cute, brightly colored, all ages games like Katamari Damacy, Bust A Move, Lego Star Wars, The Sims, or just about any Mario game. But remember that your girlfriend is an individual, and could just as well go for Halo, Resident Evil, or Grand Theft Auto.


I like Bust A Move but not because it's "cute," "brightly colored" or "all ages," it's because I happen to excel at puzzle games. I could play a first person shooter but usually they bore me. I like something that makes me think fast, ie if I remove this ball then this will happen but if I remove this one then something different will happen which could cause a chain reaction or all hell could break loose. I don't get that kind of stimulation from playing Doom.

Don't get games that involve things like strippers, prostitutes, and sex. Unless she has a really good sense of humor about such things, she probably won't like it.


No comment. Or too many to list, take your pick.

Be understanding and supportive. When she first starts out, tell her that it's easy, and that she will catch on. Make her feel like this is something that she can do. Let her win. Try not to show any signs of being annoyed that she can't pass the 1st water zone for the 76th time in a row. As she keeps playing, she will get better and may enjoy the game itself.


Now this could be good advice for any beginner, basically be encouraging. But let her win? I call bullshit. Letting someone win is disrespectful. (Unless yanno (tm) they're like three or something.) Maybe don't play a game where someone wins if you think it's going to be a problem. Plenty of games have non competitive modes.

As for the try not to get annoyed thing, if you're going to get annoyed because a beginner can't play like a pro then maybe you need to work on that. Would you get annoyed with someone stalling the car when you're trying to teach them how to drive a stick shift? New thought patterns and physical actions take time for the brain to pick up. You should be able to handle that if you're going to be a teacher, even a temp teacher who only cares about one subject. I'd say treat her like any other n00b with whom you have a relationship you want to sustain. In other words be yourself but maybe don't pin her down and fart in her face when you win. I'm just sayin'

Next time you and your girlfriend are in a game shop, casually walk by the video game section and ask her if there is anything that catches her eye. She will probably say no at first without looking at any game, but coax her into it.


That's a vaguely creepy paragraph. Like someone lifted it from Penthouse and did a find and replace on the words "porno movie."

Recognize that she probably doesn't want to play for 8 hours at a time.


Maybe you should recognize that a lot of people don't want to do anything for 8 hours at a time. Besides yanno (tm) sleep.

If you are playing an MMORPG, let her create a character on your account. Allow her to choose the look, style of dress, everything. This will let her feel as though she is playing with something she created herself.

Could that be because, oh I don't know, she did create it herself?

Even if she's only playing easy games, your girlfriend may get stuck and frustrated.


Skipping past the easy part because after all something is only easy if you know how to do it or are good at it, do you think your girlfriend might get stuck and frustrated because those are human conditions? Have you yourself ever gotten stuck and frustrated?

And under warnings we find this:

If you try to get your girlfriend into something you're into that she's not, she may feel justified in doing the same with you--attempting to show you the glory of shoe-shopping, for example. If she's a good sport, you should be, too.


So be warned, if someone does something for you they might want you to do something for them. This is an amazing and novel thought that I am sure never occurs to anyone. It seems to me though if someone is trying to share an interest like gaming for the sake of enriching a relationship they're not going to drag you out to shoe shopping in response. More likely the next time they want to watch a movie in a genre you don't care for they'll ask you to give it a try. And that's fair, right? Who knows, maybe more than one person in a couple can learn new tricks.

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