I was just reading this prayer and I am "borrowing" this part of it.

But I say to you that hear, love your enemies,
do good to those who hate you,
bless those who curse you
pray for those who abuse you.
To those that strike you on the cheek,
offer the other one also,
and from those who take away your cloak,
do not withhold your coat as well.
Give to everyone who begs from you,
and of those who take away your goods,
do not ask for them again.
And as you wish that others would do to you,
do so to them.

There's a lot there that I need to learn and do.

I've tried praying for those abuse me. Spencer told me that sometimes you have to start with God Bless this sick sorry son of a bitch. So I started with that prayer. Later I advanced to Please let ____ become the parent that _____ deserves and then I got stuck. I couldn't really think of anything else to say when I prayed for them.

Now mind you, I had a lot of trouble with God when I first started praying for those who abuse me and mine. I was very angry with him/her/it and I said to vorpal if the traditional Christian view is right and I make it to heaven I'm going to be standing on a cloud poking God in the chest and demanding to know just what the hell he was thinking when he took my Danny away from me. I'd poke him so much he'd fall of his cloud.

Then there is the part about the cloak. I will say freely that I have had trouble letting go of my resentment to that person who has my black leather jacket my sister gave me. And other things of mine. So that part about the cloak, that speaks to my angry heart.

I don't think it's good for my heart to be angry. I want to let it all go and let me heart be at peace and have a place of stillness I can enter when I need to.

I'm not usually going to talk about God in this blog, partly because I have very odd views of life, the universe and everything (thanks Mr. Adams) and I don't want to foist them off on others.

But I think that saying that prayer might be good for me in many ways. I think that growing up poor and moving so much made me cling to things while at the same time "things" as in material possessions aren't terribly important to me. I should be able to let go of what was taken from me and look to my bright and glorious future.

I also decided that I'm going to start posting how much I wrote in a day.