My youngest son has had a problem with being picked on pretty consistently.

He came home Monday and his arm was sore because this one kid pushed him off the risers in music class.

I told Cam he needs to punch this kid in the face. I don't know why I am so fixated on the face except that 1) being punched in the nose really hurts and 2) I think a punch in the face is more shocking and will stop a fight pretty fast where a punch in the arm will just get things going.

But then whenever someone punched me in the face they either broke my glasses or sent them flying and I couldn't see so maybe it's not as bad to someone who can see pretty well. Although it never stopped me from fighting back. But I digress.

I was showing Cam how to hit someone without telegraphing the blow, don't lead from the shoulder, don't draw your arm back, just piston your fist right into their nose and he got really upset.

He said "Mom, I have a PERFECT record at school!" And I said yes but you also have a perfect record of kids hitting you and taking stuff that is yours and really if you just hit this kid (in the face) out of the blue everyone will back off. It only takes one fight to show you are not a pushover. Plus you can always knock him down and jump on him if he's winning.

The thing is I know a lot about fighting but I don't what is fighting like a girl. I never fought by scratching or pulling hair, once the other party, or parties, knocked me down I used to grab their heads and pound them into the concrete until they promised to leave me alone and one time in seventh grade in Buffalo I knocked this boy out but I don't know if that is acceptable for fighting in school.

Then Chris and I both told Cam that the school record is totally meaningless. It won't follow him forever. One fight in sixth grade is not going to keep him out of college. He was kind of iffy but asked his brothers to fight him and they wrecked the living room.

The next day he came home from school much happier than he has been in months. He came in and told me he was scheduled for a fight today in the boy's bathroom after 3rd period, which is actually really late because their periods are 80 something minutes long.

He said the kid was pushing him around in one of his classes and instead of backing down he looked the kid right in the eye. The kid said "What do you want to fight?" and Cam said yes so they scheduled the fight.

I gave him a lot of encouragement. I think this is the right thing to do. I am not advocating punching just anyone in the face but really some people need it.

He called his dad, my ex, up and told him what was going on and his dad bawled him out. He told Cam that the other kid was going to bring a gun and a knife to school so that Cam would be shot, stabbed and then expelled. Then his dad said he was calling the school to put a stop to the whole thing.

Of course this also means I am a terrible, terrible mother, inciting my poor kid to violence, and trying to get him shot, stabbed and expelled all at once.

His dad called the school yesterday and said Cam had a "disagreement" with another kid and to put a stop to any fighting. This annoyed the hell out of me.

This morning Cam was really nervous but I told him he would be fine and Chris told him to make sure he had his posse with him in case the other kid had his.

Cam came home from school in a really good mood. The school did nothing to stop the fight. There were about 70 kids there to watch the fight. The girls go into the boys bathroom to watch fights and it's all good.

Cam had brought three kids and one kid's big brother just to keep the other kids from jumping into the fight.

The other kid told Cam he was "going to use pencils on him and make him drink his own blood." I think that is unspeakably funny.

Cam told the kid to turn out his pockets and he had seven "really sharp" pencils. Cam told him to lose the pencils, the kid said he was going to put them in his locker and then he skulked away, never to return.

BOOM!