Tuesday, September 28, 2004

I am such the uncharitable beyotch

I'm looking at this contest thingie that I recall from last year. You pitch your idea and then people judge it and the winners get 25 grand to implement their ideas. The thing is I am less than thrilled by the two winners on the main page who I have dubbed


Ms. Soulful




and Ms. Don't You Touch My Ass, because she looks like someone just accidentally brushed by her butt on the elevator and she doesn't like it one bit.

See what I mean? Look at how compressed her lips are.

These two are the featured winners of the day and their entries are so boring I can't bear to read them. When I force myself I get that Ms. Soulful wants to do a documentary and Ms. Don't You Touch My Ass wants to bring crayons and butcher paper to starving children in Africa.

That strikes me as supremely odd. Is that what children in Africa really want and need? Are you maybe saying your own ideas of what constitutes are supplies are much more valid than the existing culture?

So here is my spur of the moment jingoist inane fake helping other people idea.

I will go on a tour of Canada teaching premature infants how to fingerpaint with breast milk. I'll be leveraging the synergy of the natural and the technological to create a holistic orgasmic organic whole truly never before seen in the NICU.


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