Creating a community

Someone called me up today to ask me a bunch of questions about the Grapevine. At first I thought she wanted technical information like how much does it cost to run the place and I really couldn't help her but then I got into what helps create an online community and keep it going.

The lady who called me said a couple of times that it must be a full time job and I said no, it's not. I mean I do have a full time job but it's a lot more than the Vine, it's my column and WeirdLoans and all of BrokerUniverse and our various newsletters and our other sites. But I do spend a huge amount of time and mental energy on the Vine. I'm kind of always aware of it and I never let too much time go by without checking on it. Certain members of the Vine call me at home when there is a problem and I do work very weird hours taking care of the place.

But there is a lot more that I think just a few people really understand that I do. I do a tremendous amount of work behind the scenes. If someone writes to me and says they are sorry they called such and such a terrible name then I suggest that they apologize to the person they insulted. I tell them they are being brave and I am proud of them, and I am, very much so because it's hard to tell the whole world you made a mistake. Sometimes I feel like I'm a mom to all 42,715 members and sometimes I feel like a sister or a co-conspirator or a friend.

I often post things that I find of interest that I think my members will like, either under my main name or my alter ego. But I do more than that, I also send links and things to members and I talk to them offline, either through email or on the phone and we talk about things they could post that will keep the place more than just a dumping ground for loan scenarios.

I send some people prewarnings to let them know that if they don't tone down their behavior they are going to get a warning, or more. Sometimes that goes over well and sometimes it doesn't. There are some people at the Vine, and some who are no longer allowed to post, who seem to hate me with a passion. I've seen some pretty nasty posts at other sites about me and I've gotten lots of email that isn't exactly flattering.

I've been with the Vine almost it's entire incarnation, five years in April, and some people say they can't imagine it without me. We've been through a terrorist attack, the violent death of one of our members, the fake death of one of our members, childbirth, great sadness, great joys, wonderful friendships and terrible arguments together.

I guess what it comes down to is if you have a community where people are passionate, passionate about anything, but especially passionate about each other, then you really do have a community. And when you are in charge of a community, even nominally, it's not a full time job, in fact I don't think the word job really works anymore. That's what bugged me about this phone conversation. I can't think of the right word but job isn't it.