Handy Telephone Numbers You Might Need in Harbin China + Suggested Soundtrack Music

I've been exploring the "English" version of a Chinese website for a possible column this week. Before I say anything else I must say I have absolutely no room to talk about anyone's translations, I have learned a grand total of two Cantonese expressions in my life - I ate your dog and Your girlfriend is a lesbian - and I doubt I could remember either of them now. Still, I find this official website extremely charming and funny. The suggested background music is Zero Wing Rhapsody, the mashup of Zero Wing, the game that spawned All Your Base Are Belong to Us, and Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Here is the link to the Harbin, China website. There is so much to love, starting with the headline Ambassador experiences the skiing pleasure, going on to "?The duck encloses"?the oasis changes into the desert, through Every district is instructed to water on trees and pausing at The digital city and fictitious urban planning forum are held in Harbin.

My favorite so far is the list of helpful telephone numbers.

Travel quality complaining - This is the best quality complaining available.

The public phone complaining - is this to make a complaint or is it a smart phone that will complain to you about how it has to listen to inane conversations all day long?


Supply power and guarantee centre - I like my supply power to bguaranteeded.


Book the train ticket - I think this is like Clifford the big red dog. The train ticket's name is Book.


Dispatcher's centre of gas - it's like the center of gravity but influenced by how much chili he ate the night before.


Municipal Removal Office - Does it remove the municipality completely?

Aviation limited company of goose of the north spaceflight doesn't't this sounamazinglyly wonderful?


Railway ticket center (inquiry in 24 hours) - I wonder if this like jam tomorrow and jam yesterday in that you can't make your inquiry until 24 hours after you want to or if it really means you can make an inquiry 24 hours a day.


Master station of first aid of the red cross of the city - This sounds rather impressive.


Municipal Anti-epidemic Station - If you're worried about bird flu, worry no more.


Luggage room Booking Office of Nangang - Is this cabaretet? Do lounge singers sing in the luggage room?

Traffic police's detachment of public security bureau - There's too much detachment on the part of traffic police these days. They should be more attached, to what I don't know.


Dispatching room of company of steamer - This makes me think of steamer clams, I'm sure I'm on the wrong track. Cullen thinks it's dry cleaning. What about steam ships or steam trains?


the hot line of Order water - I thought at first this was a number to order hot water but that was just my brain misfiring.


Short-time predict - No idea what this means but it reminds me of Stephen King's Insomnia