I'm hounded by the interconnectedness of things. Douglas Adams' phrase of course but I fell in love with it the moment I read it because it's so true.

My family consists entirely of fans of Mr. Adams. His death in 2001 hit me very hard.

I took part in towel day although I didn't see anyone else who did.

Danny never read much. Or at least not to himself. He loved to read to me and to the boys. The day he died he finally picked up The Hitch Hikers Guide and read the first page or two and was delighted and very excited.

In fact he wanted to read it to us on the drive home.

I said no because I didn't want the light on in the van, even though it was behind me and I don't think it would have interfered. The way things worked out I'm glad I said no because otherwise it's just one more thing that I'd be wondering about.

One of the thousands of things that have been so sad to me is that Dan found this brilliant writer and then didn't get to enjoy him. It's a terrible injustice to me that after months of us telling him he'd love Mr. Adams Dan finally found him and then it was all ruined for him.

Chris says don't be sad, Dan and Douglas are chilling together now and Douglas can tell Dan anything he wanted to know about the Hitch Hikers books or the Dirk Gently books.

I'm still reading this very old thread over at the well.

It's odd reading old threads or blogs because I know that painful events are coming up and I kind of cringe, seeing these people talking, being innocent, having no idea that something horrible is coming. Even if those people include myself.

The mourning ritual I'm doing for Dan is meant to last a year and a day. One reason I chose that ritual is because we spoke about handfasting, which also lasts a year and a day.

And now I see that Mr. Adams died exactly one year and one day before Danny did and I see that the interconnectedness of things is so deep that I'll never touch the bottom.