Tuesday, July 08, 2003

This thing was down for a couple of days. At least it was for me.

Then I hit this wall. I wrote a very emotional scene for CF that must have just worn me out. I couldn't write anything at all for three days. How crazy is that? Then I wrote three pages yesterday and maybe two today. But it is rough going. It's turning out well, just not easy to write.

I'm not sleeping. When I do sleep I have crazy dreams. From a post to Lily at PGL:

I keep dreaming about whales in trouble.

And then last night, this morning, whatever, I was dreaming about how all the technology in the world stopped working and I was at this hospital trying to keep this kid who was on life support breathing after everything stopped.

Then this guy came in and told me he was a personal injury attorney and I was just like either help me with this kid's breathing or just get out.

So he left. Bastard.

I swear if I don't get some sleep soon I will fall apart. I feel like I'm in a trance. Nothing seems real.



Sigh. Damn it I still miss you and you know who you are. Oh I found the true freaker page still up at geocities. (let's hope that F*x doesn't notice) I don't know why you aren't here to read it with me and then watch the episode. I feel like throwing things. Doesn't change anything does it? All the anger and sadness and grief isn't going to change one thing.

I never got to tell you the tatterdemalian story either. I don't understand why weirderthanmarshmallows is down. When am I going to accept that you are gone? Maybe never.

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