Sunday, January 09, 2005

Very sad news

My cat vorpal has been missing since the 29th. He's not an outdoor cat. None of my cats are. Outdoor cats live about half as long as indoor cats. He got out when Chris came in very early in the morning and left the door open.

I have looked for him, the kids have looked for him. We've asked the neighbours and we've been to Animal Control and asked the SPCA but nobody had seen him except this woman who said her dog chased him.

I was just writing to a friend of mine about the train crash in South Carolina and saying I couldn't bear any more terrible news when someone came banging on my door to tell my cat is dead.

But you know she didn't do it like that. She asked if I had a black and white cat and of course hope leapt up into my chest and I was sure she was going say she had found him and then she said he was dead and starved to death in a storage area where someone had locked him in.

How could that be? He was so stupid and friendly he would have been under the feet of anyone in this storage area. I don't see how you could have locked him in accidentally.

Plus he was fat and because I have my windows open a lot and he sleeps in here with me he had a winter coat. Would he really have starved to death? Now I am imagining him getting weaker and crying and nobody hearing him.

His body was very close to where I sat for about half an hour calling him last weekend. Did I not hear him because this brain disorder causes that constant rushing in my ears? I could hear the birds though. His corpse was all wet and he didn't look particularly thin. He was very dirty. It was definitely him though. I was afraid I would not be able to tell.

I'm terribly sad and I wish I didn't have such a good imagination. I'm too sad to do anything now and I have to copyedit a treatment for a friend and write two columns.

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