Useful Written Communication Tips

I made a list the other day. Essentially it is words and phrases that indicate you probably aren't in the right frame of mind to respond to a customer service email or a post on a discussion board. If any of these things are at the forefront of your mind it's best to let some time go by and cool off before you hit send or submit.

What on earth is the matter with you?

Are you retarded?

How retarded are you?

Do you actually believe that?

What the fuck were you thinking?

Bring it!

I know x numbers of ways to kill a man. (The larger X is the more time you need to elapse before you rewrite your email/post.)

Do you think I'm stupid?

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

You fucking liar.

People go to hell for that, I just think you should know for your own good.

Um, you do know that...

Oh you'll pay all right.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

What? What? What? WHAT?

How dare you?

Additional signs and symptoms that donÂ?t necessarily include words:

Any time you're tempted to refer to Mr. Christ by his full name you should probably stop. If you want to give him a middle name or initial you definitely need a cooling off period.

If you can't actually see the keyboard because it's obscured in a fine red mist you should go for a walk. Even if it's ten below.

If you're striking the keys so hard they go flying off the keyboard, it's time for meditation.

This list is not all-inclusive but it is a good start.