Friday, August 17, 2007

This was interesting

Before they updated it. http://baltimore.craigslist.org/zip/397224456.html

It's for a "free haunted" armoire

We were going to keep it but we now think the armoire is haunted. My wife found a message carved under one of the shelves about a pox and there’s a giant pentagram carved on the very bottom (out of view and doesn’t affect the overall look) with a bunch of latin words. Also, when we first got it, there were some red stains on the bottom shelf, but my wife cleaned them because she thought they were Kool-Aid or some sort of juice.


Sadly the next day it wasn't haunted or free anymore. Bummer.

Here's another one that would have been an interesting story but was totally spoiled by the last line, the one about no fatties. Now you have to be able to suspend disbelief because obviously the whole thing is a fabrication, but it was almost an entertaining read.

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/m4w/398642955.html

I am an elderly man of eighty-seven with an advanced case of lymphatic cancer. In my hayday, I was an extremely successful film and theatre producer. I am very well off and am looking to spend the final years of my life with someone who will take care of me and see that my money is taken care of.

I have three children who have all but abandoned me, so I spend most of my time in my estate, writing a memoir and reminiscing about past times. I am an avid automobile collector and have amassed an impressive display of vintage roadsters and modern sports racers. I am also a noted philanthropist and spend much of my time traveling the world, visiting my vacation homes. I have spent a good amount of time eradicating poverty in small, third-world communities and purchasing art collections.

As for my mate, I prefer younger shapely blondes but am open-minded at this point. I am straight-laced and (thanks to Viagra) fiesty.

Seeking those who have a strong desire to travel the world, hear my stories, and laugh with me.


Because you know everyone who has an advanced case of lymphatic cancer is all about traveling and fucking shapely blondes...

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