Going snowblind in my bedroom

The sun came out a few minutes ago and suddenly I couldn't see anything. I've gotten used to not being able to see very well when the sun shines in through my window and onto my screen but this was ridiculous. I couldn't see anything. When I looked out the window it was like an ice pick to my brain, right in through the eyes and straight back to the back of my head. Even now my left eye feels like someone punched it.

It was from the sun shining off of the snow everywhere so I closed my blinds and now my room is brighter than it usually is with them open. Kind of funny.

I had such a lovely dream that I didn't want to wake up at all. I wonder if given the choice if I would live forever in the dreamworld or if I would wake back up again. The dreamworld is so nice because I'm not usually sick there. Sometimes I am but mostly if I an sick I can still do things And I'm sick in an abstract kind of way. I get such incredible support there. A philosophy I can totally dig teaches that when you dream you're really at the astral plane and you get to meet with the elders (not the elder gods) and you sort out your problems. You get to see people you can't see in the tactile world and I believe you collaborate on things. To me that explains why Vince Gilligan and I can write the very same scene for an X-Files script. Of course he was getting paid to write and I was doing a spec script but still, some of the stuff I wrote was word for word the same as his.

So there you are, I'm healthy, I've got this amazing support system. I've got friends who talk to me about my writing and give me feedback, I help them, these guys I hang out with are dreamy, (really, really dreamy) so why wouldn't I want to stay there forever? I eat in my dreams. I suppose that means I'm not in Faerie when I dream or I would never wake up.

This morning I had an intense, comforting, sensual, complex dream. The basic idea is that I was working for NBC as a reporter and I was in this hotel to interview Neil about something. He was on one floor but I got off onto the wrong floor and ran into Adam Duritz, who was there with an entourage of what someone called "the Stoners." They were all going downstairs to play video games. I followed them and one by one they went into this room and Adam said something to them as they went past. When it was my turn I smiled at him with no idea of what I was going to say. He gave me two dollars for the machines and said how much he had missed me and asked me if I would go for a walk because he had to go and look in on a friend who was having a baby. He also told me how much he liked my new haircut and told me to stop fretting about it because in a few months time you won't even be able to tell my hair was butchered in November.

We walked through the warm sunshine, along a lane that ran past a stream and a lot of wildflowers until we came to a little cottage. We checked on his friend who was doing well; water had broken, contractions were still fifteen minutes apart, the midwife was there, she was cheerful and excited and then we went back out into the sunshine. We'd been holding hands the whole time, in that nice friendly way you can do with dear friends where neither of you feel self conscious and when we came to a spot under a tree Adam sat down and pulled me down next to him. He told me to close my eyes and he started to recite something. It sounded a little like poetry but mostly like prose. I asked him if it was from Tolkien and he said no it was something from me. That I was going to write it and he liked it so much that he had memorized it. And that I should think about not putting all my energy into my column but spend some time each day working on my fiction. He said it in such a loving compassionate way there was no arguing with him.

You know that way to get out of credit card debt? You pay a certain amount towards your bills each month but you pay the most to the card where you owe the least. Then when that card is paid off you take the money you were paying and put it towards the next smallest balance. The idea is you eventually pay everything off without ever having to spend more each month than you started with.

I was thinking about some of these short stories I want to write and it seemed like maybe I should finish one of those and then take the time I was spending on that and spend it on the next smallest project...