Werewolves are better than jerks

Proof. (I keep forgetting to post this.)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/townsfolk-strongly-prefer-mans-werewolf-incarnatio,18342/

The King is Worried

I don't know if you heard about this shocking situation but the king of the cockroaches, a species who have ruled for like a zillion years, is worried about the rise of the bedbugs, which have been trying to take over.

I especially enjoyed the list of potential allies. Go rats!

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cockroach-king-concerned-over-recent-rise-of-bedbu,18289/

Funniest Onion Article In Recent Memory

http://www.theonion.com/articles/supreme-court-upholds-freedom-of-speech-in-obsceni,17372/

Contains as much cussing as say Pulp Fiction.

Poor kid

I think it's the details that makes the Onion so funny. This poor boy.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ah-great-i-think-i-got-a-goddamned-monster-in-my-c,17217/

Ah, for Christ's sake. Is that a goddamned monster in my closet again?

What is it with these son of a bitch monsters? Every night with the creaking and the crawling. Enough, already, will ya? Give it a rest! Look, I've brushed my teeth, I've put on my jammies, Mommy's tucked me in—I'm all ready for beddy-bye here, for crying out loud. And now I have to lie here in the darkness like a putz and wait for some stupid monster to tear me limb from limb? Give me a break!

Doesn't he sound like Holden Caulfield?

Interesting/Crazy things from last few days

Video and a terrific letter from Annie Oakley, one of my childhood heroes.

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/03/fifty-lady-sharpshooters-await.html

Article with suggestions sent to the Pentagon. Made me miss the days when I knew the diagnoses of the people writing in to me.

http://www.military.com/news/article/could-airborne-bears-catch-bin-laden.html

Wonderful post by Carrie Ryan about some of the thought process behind her amazing zombie books. I've had similar conversations with a friend of mine from Europe who marvels at how all of the knowledge the Romans had was lost and wonders if something similar could happen today.

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/03/16/the-big-idea-carrie-ryan-2/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Divorce rate blamed on one boy...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29919?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

And a couple of tweets about house hunting today.

http://twitter.com/georgianalee/status/10702321574

http://twitter.com/georgianalee/status/10702360197

School, ugh

I love this piece from the Onion, about the entire nation has to report for scoliosis testing, as it really brings back all those terrible memories from school. Embarrassment, dismay, horror, all the things we felt when we had to go to some dreadful mandatory thing, whether it was a video about menstruation or everyone lining up in the hallway for mumps jabs, which happened to me when I was 13, despite already having had mumps, or climbing that perishing rope in gym, or whatever it is. There are several in this story and by casting them as something adults will be forced to do the Onion makes a brilliant point. http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27791?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

I love this visual

This is my favorite story of all the stories I've read this week. I love the ideas of giant dinosaurs doing the backstroke through the tall grass all over the world.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/paleontologists_weve_been?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Possibly NSFW, depending on your job

Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire

Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World

Here's a hilarious piece from the Onion about local swimming sensation Michael Phelps and what happens after the Olympics are over.

Bowman says one stunt called the "Flying Medal" will begin with Phelps' 14 gold medals being suspended above the water. Phelps will then enter the stadium butterfly-stroking at full speed, coursing along the surface, and with every breach of the water, placing his head through the hoop of one medal after another. If Phelps is wearing all 14 medals at the end of the stunt, Bowman said, the swimmer will be rewarded with a whole pizza and a pound of cooked enriched pasta.

And

Spectators are not only enthralled with Phelps' exploits in the water, but his abnormally large torso, unusually small lower body, double-jointed ankles, gargantuan eating habits, the slurring, almost human methods of vocalization he uses to communicate, and his odd-looking goggle-covered face, all of which combine to make him the most unusual sight in all of Florida.

Well worth reading.