Wednesday, April 30, 2008

How to survive a...

This wiki how to survive a riot is easily adapted to what to do in case of zombie attack.

1. Be prepared. If you know an area is ripe for a zombie attack but you can't avoid traveling there, take some simple precautions to help protect yourself. Wear clothes that minimize the amount of exposed skin--long pants and long-sleeve shirts, for instance--when going out, and think about your possible escape routes and safe havens before anything actually happens. Carry some cash with you in case you need to quickly arrange transportation, pay off looters, or bribe police at a checkpoint. If you're traveling abroad, register with your country's consulate and carry your passport and/or visa with you at all times.
Stock up on anything you can use the incapacitate the zombies. Be creative. If you don't know how to fire a rifle this may not be the best time to learn. Shaun and Ed managed to get by with everything from LPs to cricket bats.

2. Remain calm. Zombies bring intense emotions boiling to the surface, but if you want to survive one you'd be better off keeping yours in check. Your adrenaline and survival instincts will kick in, but try to think rationally and pursue safety methodically.
Don't just run around screaming. For one thing you'll just get their attention and then they'll be after you with their infernal cry of "brains, brains." If you get stuck in the middle of a crowd of zombies try to act line of them until you can make your escape.

3. Get inside and stay inside. Typically zombie attacks occur in the streets or elsewhere outside. Being inside, especially in a large, sturdy structure, can be your best protection to weather the storm. Keep doors and windows locked, avoid watching the zombies from windows or balconies, and try to move to inside rooms, where grabbing you through windows or doors is minimized. Try to find at least two possible exits in case you need to evacuate the building in a hurry. Try to contact police or your country's consulate to let them know where you are, but don't be disheartened if they're all dead. If zombies are targeting the building and gain entry, try to sneak out or hide.
Avoid malls. Modern zombies know that the mall is often a source of tasty brains and fashionable clothing. It's best to plan ahead now. My family makes it a habit to constantly evaluate buildings and determine which one we'll dash into in case of a zombie attack. We also carry bottled water and quality reading material in case it turns into a siege.

4. Stay on the sidelines. If you're caught up in a zombie attack, don't take sides. Try to look as inconspicuous as possible, and slowly and carefully move to the outside of the mob. Stay close to walls or other protective barriers if possible.

Some of that is terrible advice. Of course you have to take sides. While you don't want to be eaten in a fruitless rescue attempt statistics show that groups of people come through zombie attacks better than singletons. Do move away slowly and carefully and of course hiding can be an excellent option.

I'm going to skip ahead a bit here.
* Avoid major roads. Major roads, squares, and other high traffic areas are liable to be crowded with rioters. If possible, stick to less-traveled side streets to avoid the mobs.

This can be terrific advice, especially as the road may be full of abandoned vehicles, but it can also lead you into trouble because your chances of running into assistance are lower on deserted roads. Nobody wants to be caught next to an old cemetery with no help in sight as the remnants of a Civil War battle converges on their out of gas car.

* Avoid public transportation. Buses, subways, and trains will likely be out of service, and stations and depots will probably be packed with people. Even if you succeed in getting on a train or bus, zombies may stop it. Subway stations are particularly bad places to be, both because they are generally difficult to escape and because zombie making chemicals are generally heavier than air and may drift down into subway stations and accumulate there.
While normally I advocate public transportation there are some good points here. I would also avoid elevators. They may have escape ladders but you know how zombies love to grab your leg just as you think you've escaped.

* Don't stop your car. If you're lucky enough to have a car that you can drive away from the riot, drive quickly and try not to stop for anything until you've reached someplace you know is safe. If people seem to block your escape route; honk your horn, and carefully drive through or around them at a moderate speed, and they should get out of the way.

Of course if the people are the walking dead you may need to drive carefully through or over them at great speeds to make your account. Be sure to fasten your seatbelt. No sense in exposing your brain to the zombies. Make them work for their snack.

7. Get to a safe place, and stay put. Choose a safe haven carefully. Sometimes it can be as close as your hotel room, but other times you'll need to get out of the country entirely. If you're abroad, you will generally want to head to your country's embassy or the airport. Try to contact the embassy before going there, however, to let them know you're coming and to find out if it is safe to go there. If a mob is gathered outside, embassy staff may be able to direct you to a safer place. In any case, just try to put as much distance as possible between yourself and the zombie attack.

I'm afraid much of this advice is less than helpful. The biggest problem with a zombie attack, assuming you survive the first few moments, is figuring where to go for long term safety. This is where preplanning is crucial. Once you've figured out your safety zone you should run regular zombie drills, timing how long it takes to get your family to safety. With practice you should be able to get this to a decent number.

Best of luck and may God go with you.


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Good news bad news

Recent Credit Union Journal Briefings tells me that:

Black Hills Federal Credit Union is combating those horrible payday loan schemes by offering their own alternative short term loan up to 500 dollars. Saint Mary's Bank, which is actually the oldest Credit Union in the US, followed up with their own version this week. This should help those who get into desperate straits. I remember having to borrow 70 dollars from a friend to buy Christopher medicine when I was making seven dollars an hour. Paying it back was horrible and if I'd been socked with huge fees and interests we would have been in big trouble...

Several ATMS were stolen. This usually happens by just yanking them out of the walls. If I recall correctly someone once stole a backhoe so they could steal the ATM. Recently someone managed to get into an ATM by coming at it through an adjoining wall in the room next door.

More robbers were caught who liked to rob the same branch of the credit union, something that baffles me. Do they go by the lightning never strikes twice so they won't expect me or is it more of a habit? I've no idea. A 65-year-old man who is on trial for seven robberies pleaded guilty to four of them, two at the same branch of Tennessee Members First Federal credit Union. Those robberies were in November, maybe to pay for Thanksgiving, then he went back for Christmas gifts? The other thief robbed 11 Hawaiian credit unions, one branch three times. He liked to dress up in disguises, or there is a lot of cosplay going on in the vicinity of the credit unions. Either way he was a nurse once and a wounded soldier once. No word on whether he was ever a tentacle monster, which would answer the cosplay question pretty decisively.

The head teller (or rather former) at Obelisk Federal Credit Union stole loads of cash and wasted it gambling. How much? Seven million dollars. That's correct, she carried home that much cash in hundred dollar bills over four years and gambled it all away. The CU had been in business for 37 years and is now defunct. This makes me sick. Certain factions in Maryland are pushing hard for slots to be allowed and this is a strong example of why I am against them. They claim we're losing money to surrounding states like Delaware and West Virginia and that our school systems would get an overhaul. There was a story about it on the news again tonight, along with a prediction that gas will go up to seven to ten dollars a gallon in the next three years. I think that would be a lethal combination for the poor and moderate income residents of this state, already groaning over ridiculously high real estate and property taxes. My friend Carol, who was widowed in the last couple of years, just got notice that her property taxes are going up by three hundred dollars a month. Did her income go up I ask you? And that's based on what her home is theoretically worth before the bubble started to burst. I'm sure she couldn't get what they say it's worth, and even if she could where is she supposed to go? Most of her family, including her ancient mother, is in the area. It breaks your heart.


Monday, April 28, 2008

Spin by Robert Charles Wilson

I'm reading Spin, the second book Tor gave me as part of their recent promotion, and I keep saying "Holy shit!" (Which is a pretty gross expression that I should stop using.)

My most recent stop, swear and stare at the page was in reaction to page 167. If you've read it and are curious you can look it up. I'm guessing there are still quite a few shocks and surprises coming my way.

It's a fascinating book, if somewhat dispassionate. Maybe you have to be dispassionate when you're talking about such huge topics, to keep from getting overwhelmed.


Sunday, April 27, 2008

What the hell?

I just saw a google link for this company that makes synthetic urine. I clicked it, because I wanted to know why. What earthly reason do you need for synthetic urine?

The site says you can use it to calibrate urine testing equipment, for a prank, as a fetishist or some kind of therapy. But one of my kids thinks its whole purpose is to cheat drug tests. Could be because 30 bucks is a lot to pay when real pee is you know, free. Plus it comes with everything you need to get it to body temperature.

Each box of Quick Fix Synthetic Urine contains a 2oz sample of urine, one heat pack, a flip top cap, and a temperature strip that reads between 90 and 100 degrees.

I knew a young man in the army and part of his job was to watch to make sure the urine for the drug tests actually came out of the body. Given the horror of being labeled gay in the military this was not a job anyone wanted, or performed particularly well.


Saturday, April 26, 2008

Some rambling

Here's a comic from Cullen.

I had a nightmare that a yellowjacket flew in the window and landed on my arm. I was afraid to swat it because I am allergic to them so I was sitting dead still, waiting for it to fly away, when it chewed its way through my skin and crawled under, creeping around. This all happened very quickly. I clapped my hand to try and block its path but it just chewed deeper. I hate nightmares like that. It seems to be a common theme, I've seen it a few times in horror films.

Proving even more that I am an idiot, I was quite surprised the other night to hear that only six people signed the Declaration of Independence. I thought loads of people signed it and that's why John Hancock made his signature so large, so it wouldn't get lost.

This image might explain some of my confusion. I used to know this stuff, then I got meningitis and a swollen brain and forgot it, but this image still clung, making me think every person in the picture signed the declaration. How amusing that the painting isn't even of the signing.


Check out his feet! They're huge!

Cam sent this video to me. I love how the tiger's strength and agility seems even easier to see in the water.


Friday, April 25, 2008




Thursday, April 24, 2008

Why I write fantasy

Because I want the chance to write this sort of sentence, which I did just write for part three of the Kitta Chronicles:

I was poking him, taking care to poke him in a new spot so he wouldn't bruise too much when a little monkey wearing a top hat popped out from behind a curtain and gave me a deep bow.

I would probably have to limit that sort of thing if I wrote something else.

On the excellent news front I got an email from Variety saying:

Guillermo del Toro to direct 'Hobbit'
In a major step forward on "The Hobbit," Guillermo del Toro has signed on to direct the New Line-MGM tentpole and its sequel.

The widely expected announcement came Thursday afternoon jointly from exec producers Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh, New Line president Toby Emmerich and Mary Parent, the newly named chief of MGM's Worldwide Motion Picture Group.

I'm so excited! I would do a cartwheel if I had any sense of balance left.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Annoying news

My hematologist called me up today with the results of my latest PT/INR. I'm meant to be somewhere between 2.5 and 3, to in therapeutic and prevent blood clots.

Instead I am 1.2, which is nearly normal. Normal is 1. The last time I was therapeutic was in December. The last three tests, one month apart mind you, were 1.6, 1.3 and 1.2. And I increased my dose when it was 1.6 so these numbers make no sense.

I'm now taking fifty percent more each day and will retest in a week.

But I'm baffled. Why? I was too high last year. It's so strange. I have a friend who takes this stuff and he is always steady as a rock. His numbers never fluctuate. Mine are rarely stable. Quite annoying.


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sung to the tune of Spider-Man

I wrote a song for the new Iron Man movie. Ready?

Iron Man, Iron Man
Does whatever an iron can
Flattens thieves just like shirts
Oh my gosh, how it hurts
Here comes the Iron Man!

*Takes a bow*


Monday, April 21, 2008

I finished my script

That's all. 105 pages, then fade out.

Here's an xkcd to entertain you.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Script Frenzy

I'm nearly finished with Script Frenzy. I hit page 100 today and have just a few scenes to wrap up. The bad guy got his comeuppance, the kidnapped child has been returned, the mother is grateful and our heroes are tired but happy. Now we just need to say goodbye, send everyone home and explain to their respective parents where they have been without them being grounded forever. And of course we have to repair some of the damage said kidnapped child caused.

Then fade out. I'm super pleased because it went so smoothly. Some of it was the easiest writing I've done ages. Some of it was awful, needing me to promise I would quit if I just wrote one more word, but I average five pages a day and am going to finish more than a week ahead of schedule.

Then I think I'll think about editing the book I finished in February. Was it February? Maybe. I don't really remember. The rewrite on that is going to be ghastly. But productive I think.

Cullen and Chris are getting ready for finals, which are coming up in the next couple of weeks. Cullen is writing code and Chris is furiously building a robot.

Here is a picture of my rat, Delirium, suffering from true red eye. She hasn't quite figured out she's meant to sit on my shoulder while I type, which was Paws' job. I wrote three books with Paws on my shoulder giving me advice if I remember correctly. Delirium tends to dive into my shirt and stay there. Here she is hanging out on Cam's leg as he tries out the camera I just bought.

Labels: ,

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Blown away by Torchwood

The season finale of Torchwood was heartbreaking. I had such a lump in my throat I thought I would suffocate. There was a bit where the actress who plays Gwen said the tears were real because the actors were so upset. I think you could tell they were real because there's a funny kind of breathing that you do when you've got that awful lump in your throat. You have to breathe a special way to get air around it. You recognize it when you see it on stage or in a film.


Friday, April 18, 2008

I want one of these nightgowns...

I was watching Dr. Who and I saw a commercial for and I thought the woman in the commercial said she had a Neverwhere flannel nightgown. Sadly she was promising to never wear a flannel nightgown. I guess Neverwhere flannel nightgowns only exist in my head. Sigh.

I was up until four am reading The Baum Plan for Financial Independence and Other Stories, which you can download here, a gift from the lovely people of Small Beer Press. It's extremely good. Too good, which is why I got like two hours of sleep last night.

Just finished Michael Chabon's excellent Gentlemen of the Road. Or was it called Jews With Swords? Either way it was loads of fun. Thrilling fun, possibly the best kind. I was somewhat surprised when I dropped the book into my lap and saw the author picture for the first time. He looks a bit like a startled gazelle in this image. A very, very pretty startled gazelle. Just look at those eyes.

Labels: ,

Thursday, April 17, 2008

And now with randomness squared

Charlie the Unicorn two. Significantly weirder than Charlie the Unicorn one.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Too many animals

There are a million animals popping up all over my work. Today a bear called Demetrius showed up in my script today. He grew up with Max, the cop who has kind of turned into a major character. They spent a lot of time playing in the mysterious street where Oswald, the lead, finds the chimera egg.

Now we have one chimera, a cat and her six kittens, all grown to enormous size, and a bear. Oh and a horse that is sort of a plot point. Kids and animals = impossible to film.

I've got no idea what my column will be about this week. Usually by this time I've got it half finished but I'm totally lost. Cam needs allergy shots before deadline, I need to go to the laundromat, Cullen needs a ride home from UMBC. It's starting to look impossible.


Monday, April 14, 2008

Some pictures

Here is Jeremy Northam in The Tudors.

He looks very nice and pious, doesn't he? Nothing like his studly role as Mr. Knightley.

Here is Holbein's painting of St. Thomas More, Jeremy Northam's role in The Tudors.

Isn't it astonishing how much the actor looks like the real man? I guess the clothes do maketh the man after all.


Sunday, April 13, 2008

There's a rat on my head

The low point of the day was our older cat Titan getting sick with no warning. Usually he retches for a bit, allowing us time to scoop him and throw him in the sink. Instead he just sat up, from where he was doing his job keeping my feet warm, and threw up on my foot. My bare foot. My bare foot resting on my nice sheet. My bare foot resting on my nice sheet on my bed...

The high point, um, I suppose it was somehow managing to knock out another five pages of my script, bringing me to 65. Now I just need to decide if my proposed solution to the chimera problem would annoy my audience.

And now the rat is trying to type. She managed an n, good for her.

Labels: ,

Saturday, April 12, 2008

A lose-lose situation

I'm reading part of Pliny the Elder's Naturalis Historia, written circa 77 a.d., according to Wikipedia. It's quite interesting, at least the part I'm reading, which is the zoology part. Did you know rhinos sharpen their horns on hard stones?


Where the Elephants are bred: how the Dragons and they disagree.

ELEPHANTS breed in that part of Affricke which lyeth beyond the deserts and wildernesse of the Syrtes: also in Mauritania: they are found also among the Æthiopians and Troglodites, as hath been said: but India bringeth forth the biggest: as also the dragons, that are continually at variance with them, and evermore fighting, and those of such greatnesse, that they can easily claspe and wind round about the Elephants, and withall tye them fast with a knot. In this conflict they die, both the one and the other: the Elephant hee falls downe dead as conquered, and with his heavie weight crusheth and squeaseth the dragon that is wound and wreathed about him.

Isn't that sad? They both die. That's quite a disagreement.

I'm curious what these dragons were.

You may wonder why these dragons assaulted the elephants, if the outcome might be so negative. It's because they thirsted for the poor elephant's cold blood. Check it out:


The wittinesse and pollicie in these creatures.

WONDERFUL is the wit and subtiltie that dumb creatures have, & how they shift for themselves and annoy their enemies: which is the only difficultie that they have to arise and grow to so great an heigth and excessive bignesse. The dragon therefore espying the Elephant when he goeth to releese, assaileth him from an high tree and launceth himself upon him; but the Elephant knowing well enough he is not able to withstand his windings and knittings about him, seeketh to come close to some trees or hard rockes, and so to crush & squise the dragon between him and them: the dragons ware hereof, entangle and snarle his feet and legges first with their taile: the Elephants on the other side, undoe those knots with their trunke as with a hand: but to prevent that againe, the dragons put in their heads into their snout, and so stop their wind, and withall, fret and gnaw the tenderest parts that they find there. Now in case these two mortall enemies chaunce to reencounter upon the way, they bristle and bridle one against another, and addresse themselves to fight; but the principall thing the dragons make at, is the eye: whereby it commeth to passe, that many times the Elephants are found blind, pined for hunger, and worne away, and after much languishing, for very anguish & sorrow die of their venime. What reason should a man alleadge of this so mortall warre betweene them, if it be not a verie sport of Nature and pleasure that shee takes, in matching these two so great enemies togither, and so even and equall in every respect? But some report this mutuall war between them after another sort: and that the occasion thereof ariseth from a naturall cause. For (say they) the Elephants bloud is exceeding cold, and therefore the dragons be wonderfull desirous thereof to refresh and coole themselves therewith, during the parching and hote season of the yeere. And to this purpose they lie under the water, waiting their time to take the Elephants at a vantage when they are drinking. Where they catch fast hold first of their trunke: and they have not so soone clasped and entangled it with their taile, but they set their venomous teeth in the Elephants eare, (the onely part of all their bodie, which they cannot reach unto with their trunke) and so bite it hard. Now these dragons are so big withall, that they be able to receive all the Elephants bloud. Thus are they sucked drie, untill they fall down dead: and the dragons again, drunken with their bloud, are squised under them, and die both together.

And there you have it. Some creatures crave popsicles and some elephant blood.


Friday, April 11, 2008

And now a word about pockets

I'm watching the Tudors, season two now, and there are many historical inaccuracies. Changing of ages of important figures, combining two of the King's sisters into one, that sort of thing. But it's not meant to be a documentary so that's cool. The people, houses and clothes are all gorgeous enough to hold my attention no matter what.

But in the episode I just watched someone tells someone else to check their pocket and she pulls this piece of paper out of the pocket in her skirt. Which wouldn't be invented for another couple hundred years...

At the time of the Renaissance pockets were still external, and called pouches. So pickpockets, aka cutpurses, had an easy time of it. Slice the cords holding the pouch and voila, you've got the whole thing.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Good news for Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg fans

Variety reports that Working Title has signed a two picture deal with Edgar Wright to direct for Universal.

Wright, who directed the comedies "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz" for Working Title, will first write and direct "Baby Driver," a wild spin on the action/crime genre that will be set in the U.S.

He will follow with "The World's End," the working title of a comedy that he'll co-write with Simon Pegg, his writing partner on "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz."

Pegg, who starred in both of those films, will once again topline the pic, which the duo said completes a trilogy of homages to their favorite genres.

I could not be more pleased by this news.

Labels: ,

I didn't know there were any wineries in Texas

I'm working on Smorgasbord, the new kol I picked up, and I'm reading about this event at the 23rd annual Texas Hill Country Wine and Food Festival, which features sixty wineries. That's a lot I think, although I'm not really up on these things.

This is what I find most amusing:

It's the hottest ticket in town and you too can join the fun of this exclusive After Party. This brand new event takes place at the coolest new East Austin production studio, Action Figure Studios. Featuring signature cocktails, celebrity sightings and music with a techno-vibe, you'll relax and indulge at this multi-sensory, multi-media happening. Valet parking will be available and is complimentary for Lexus owners.

I don't understand the special treatment for Lexus owners thing. Is that a special club?


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

I give you a mongoose fighting a cobra in a garage

This was interesting to me for a couple of reasons. The narrator calls the snake Nag, which is the name of the snake in Rikki Tikki Tavi by Kipling. Also I'm not used to seeing cobras around tires so that was a weird little bit of cognitive dissonance.


Tuesday, April 08, 2008

And now some mongooses eating Easter eggs


Monday, April 07, 2008

I'm almost afraid to say

Script Frenzy is going really well. It's the easiest writing I've done in months. I'm on page 35 so far, which is about five pages a day. That's not bad when my entire notes for the plot consist of "chaos ensues."

We've also been stricken with a stomach virus. It's at times like this that I really wish we had more than one bathroom...


Sunday, April 06, 2008

Totally confused by this

George Clooney apparently went financial core with the WGA over Leatherheads. I knew something was up when I was researching Smorgasbord, the new kol I write for BU because says this:

George Clooney's Involvement

George serves as director and co-star. George Clooney also re-wrote the script, but the Writers Guild of America denied Clooney a screenplay credit.

I've spoken to several people who have had disagreements with the WGA over credits but this is the first time I've heard of someone going fi core over it. I thought fi core was specifically for people who are going to starve to death if they don't take a crappy non union deal, something that has never really made sense to me because union work pays better, but I digress. Why would George Clooney, who I believe takes home a hefty paycheck go fi core? So strange.

I'd like to hear more about this.


Saturday, April 05, 2008

Google's master plan

As promised a brief post about Google. As I said in this blog post last year, I've got this theory that the Google lads are using Heinlein's novella The Man Who Sold the Moon as a template for their business plan.

So I was dead chuffed when I logged into Google on April first and saw their annual joke project Virgle.

And I quote:

Earth has issues, and it's time humanity got started on a Plan B. So, starting in 2014, Virgin founder Richard Branson and Google co-founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin will be leading hundreds of users on one of the grandest adventures in human history: Project Virgle, the first permanent human colony on Mars.

Oh sure, it's a joke, but isn't that the best way to present a mad undertaking? We'll see where we stand in another generation. Possibly sooner.


Friday, April 04, 2008

Free mortgage news

National Mortgage News, one of the websites I work on, recently released the entire print and online archive into the wild for free. I'm quite excited about this as I am a strong proponent of trying to keep as much content free as possible.

So if you want to look up anything mortgage related give our archives a spin.

If you're trying to make sense, or keep on top, of the subprime meltdown and what it is doing to our global economy you should read my big boss Paul Muolo's column, published weekly. (Although if you subscribe to the BrokerUniverse newsletter (also free) you get the added bonus of small daily doses of What We're Hearing.) Paul's column is also archived.

Paul and his partners broke the Savings and Loan crisis story back when we were still National Thrift News (before my time) and Paul is the coauthor of Inside Job: The Looting of America's Savings and Loans, which may now be out of print but I bet you could find used.

He and his current partner Matthew Padilla are very hard at work on a new book called Chain of Blame: How Wall Street Caused America's Housing and Mortgage Bubbles, available for preorder from Amazon and I'm sure a host of other places. If you like the column be sure to pick up the book.

Labels: ,

Thursday, April 03, 2008

I keep forgetting to say

Last Friday's Credit Union Journal Briefing said that a robber was sentenced to 12 years in prison for robbing First Central Credit Union at gunpoint last August. He apparently posted an image of the weapon on his MySpace page. Brilliant.

The same edition of the newsletter also said an Iraq veteran robbed the same branch of St. Jean's Credit Union four times in the space of two months.


Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I would fail at this

I'm looking for a good logic puzzle for my script and I found this article. The author states:

Logic puzzles in interviews seem to be one of those things that everyone either loves or hates, but speaking as an interviewer I find logic questions critically important in deciding between candidates - far more than “behavioural” or “situational” type questions that HR peeps seem to favour....

Interviewer: Imagine you have eight coins, seven of which weigh the same and one that doesn’t (it’s heavier). You need to use a pair of scales to find out what’s the odd one out.

If this seems familiar it probably is, this is apparently one of the most asked logic puzzles in the known universe. It’s used in interviews by Microsoft, Amazon, Google, and probably hundreds of other firms.

I think the answer here is to panic. I can panic pretty calmly so maybe the interviewer wouldn't know.

I like interviews where the interviewer asks me kind of normal questions. The one I hated the most where when the dude asked if I could be a butterfly why would I want to be a butterfly. What does that even mean? This was for a job processing medical claims. When I worked for the fringe benefits firm I paid the most claims per day and I had the highest accuracy rate (99.84%). Isn't that kind of more important than butterfly motivation?

The funny thing is I tend to like logic puzzles. I remember one year at Renn Fest a bunch of us working the archery range went through three entire books of them. But in an interview setting they would just make me feel dumb and confused.


Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Into the frenzy

Don't expect much in the way of posts for a bit. I picked up another weekly column, which is sort of not a column, it's the Smorgasbord that runs below Quality Time in the BrokerUniverse newsletter, and it's taking more time than I thought it would.

Script Frenzy moved up to April, from June, and I'm going to give it a shot. I've got a little over five pages of this thing about a little boy who wants to buy his mom the perfect Mother's Day present but confuses the words chimenea and chimera. Throw in one of those shops that vanishes when you try to go back again and there's bound to be some trouble.

So I reckon between the book (part three of Kitta, working title One Ring to Annoy Them All), the script, the two columns, the day job and the family I might not have much spare time for a little while.

Oh and SAG is having a costume gala event to celebrate our 75th anniversary so I've got that to think about. That's in June I think.

I probably shouldn't be taking part in Script Frenzy but I love writing scripts. They're so much fun. And easy, hoo boy, are they ever. I see my scenes in my head as I write anyway so putting them down in a visual media is natural for me. I also like writing in the present tense and I tend to be spare with description anyway (I've written entire books and never told anyone what the protagonist looks like) so I love it when I can pretty much skip it.

But don't worry I shan't vanish yet. I had a post about Fergie I was thinking about yesterday and today Google delighted me with their April Fool's post. More later this week, I promise.