Thursday, September 30, 2004

More amazing and annoying financial stuff

I don't know if I mentioned that the case of the Estate of Daniel Fogg, may the actual guy not be spinning in his grave at what happened here, vs me was settled for 100,000 and then I guess moved to a malpractice suit against the hospital.

For some unfathomable, queer reason a lien, judgment, some legal word for the 100,000 was put against me and then my car insurance is meant to pay that off.

What this means to those of us at home is that my credit card companies suddenly saw this huge amount of money that I supposedly owe and they lowered my limits to pretty much what I owed already and then jacked up my interest rates, in one case to 39% and the others seem to be around 29%.

The other side effect is that suddenly I am inundated by eager credit cards who want to do the predatory lending thing to me thinking that I am desperate for credit at any price. Little do they know that the all great and powerful Kevin is going to help me make absolutely sure this judgment thing is removed at the repository level.

Here is the rundown of the card offer I got today.

APR 23.9%
Annual Membership Fee $69
Enrollment Fee (One Time Only) $69

Then some other stuff and here is the best part -

Closed Account Maintenance Fee $3 per month after account closed until paid in full.

Here is what I am thinking. They charge you $138 to open the account. They give you a 200 dollar credit limit. They sit around waiting for your to fuck up, because after all this is deadbeat credit card company. They then start charging you 42% interest, $29 over limit fees because you go over the limit right away with the extra interest and the $29 late payment fee and then they close the account but charge you an extra three dollars a month to have the account closed. Now that is finance at its finest.

Oh yes, of course you have never actually used the card for anything. You haven't even bought a candy bar but still you are now lying awake at night panicking over how to get this thing taken care of and your credit is worse than ever.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

The cost of getting well

Everyone is sick with some virus. Big whoop right? Except that since we all have asthma and it's ragweed season these little viruses turn into big breathing problems pretty quickly. It's been nearly ten months since I had to take any of the kids to the ER and I'd like that number to just keep on getting bigger.

Cul missed two days of school and Chris and Cam missed one. Off they went to their pediatrician yesterday who gave them a sample and then a prescription for Accuhist. This stuff has scopalamine and atropine in it. It must be kind of amazing stuff. It sure cost a lot. Even with a prescription card it was forty dollars per kid for 20 pills. I find that deeply discouraging.

Obviously it's money well spent but still it's a lot of money. We've already got thousands of dollars of medical bills outstanding. What's a little more, I guess.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

I am such the uncharitable beyotch

I'm looking at this contest thingie that I recall from last year. You pitch your idea and then people judge it and the winners get 25 grand to implement their ideas. The thing is I am less than thrilled by the two winners on the main page who I have dubbed

Ms. Soulful

and Ms. Don't You Touch My Ass, because she looks like someone just accidentally brushed by her butt on the elevator and she doesn't like it one bit.

See what I mean? Look at how compressed her lips are.

These two are the featured winners of the day and their entries are so boring I can't bear to read them. When I force myself I get that Ms. Soulful wants to do a documentary and Ms. Don't You Touch My Ass wants to bring crayons and butcher paper to starving children in Africa.

That strikes me as supremely odd. Is that what children in Africa really want and need? Are you maybe saying your own ideas of what constitutes are supplies are much more valid than the existing culture?

So here is my spur of the moment jingoist inane fake helping other people idea.

I will go on a tour of Canada teaching premature infants how to fingerpaint with breast milk. I'll be leveraging the synergy of the natural and the technological to create a holistic orgasmic organic whole truly never before seen in the NICU.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Oddly phrased casting notice

This thing reads, in part, The film will likely have few commercial prospects and it will be a bit difficult to watch.

Doesn't that make you want to audition? Are you not on tenterhooks waiting for this film to be released? I know I sure am.

Sunday, September 26, 2004


I sent my pictures and resume off to Carlyn Davis and Betsy Royall. Sadly too sick to really say anymore right now.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

A blissful sort of day

I had a pretty hectic week what with being so broke I couldn't even afford to go and get my Incredible Brain Shrinking Medicine.

But I am working so hard on fixing things so they are cheaper. To whit, switching to USAA insurance which appears to be lowering the bill for my van and Chris' new 350 dollar car by 78% and finally getting the boys their ID cards so we can shop at the commissary.

Yesterday I called the always wonderful Shamus at Pat Moran Casting and explained why I have been ducking his calls and that I want very much to work but I am worried about being physically unable to fulfill my obligations. It's so queer how jealous I am that I am not working yet I am not entirely sure that I can work.

Shamus said they start a new episode on Wednesday and to call him Monday as he is going to look through the script and see if there is anything that the thinks I can play. YAY SHAMUS!

I see that Betsy Royall Casting is casting for a film called FATWA. She needs someone for this part:

Bessie - woman, larger, low income, lives in a trailer park and on Drugs, great acting role

I don't know about you but that sounds like loads of fun to me. Fun in this case means hard work of course but fun also.

Then I see Carlyn Davis Casting still needs people for XXX Enemy of the State.

Chris took some pictures of me last night with his digital camera. I wanted one of me sneering to send in with my headshot for the Bessie character. I sent it off to a couple of my friends who said I look to intelligent for the role. Humph.

I'm pretty excited about these various opportunities.

But I am over the moon over an email I got today in regards to Fiddler's Green. I won the Dinner with the Guest of Honour lottery and I get to have dinner with Neil Gaiman. Can you say WOOHOO? I surely can. I will probably get so excited my head pops. Won't that be funny?

Friday, September 24, 2004

Running out of Eskatology stuff

I've just finished another one of those Left Behind books. I need to go back to the library and get the next couple in the series, which I think will bring me to the point where I wait with everyone else for the next one.

I think this last book was called the Mark or the Beast or really I have no idea. It was about AntiChrist taking over. First he takes possession and then takes over. That way the authors get another book squeezed out.

I was startled to find a character who had my first name. There are not scads of Georgianas in fiction.

A common train of thought as I read these books is why? Why would God bother with all this? It's all so preordained, everyone knows how it will all end, everyone knows what is coming. Why bother actually doing any of it? How interesting can it be?

But then I decided perhaps it's a bit like writing a script. That is really only the first step and you wait and see what the director, although who that would be in this little analogy is utterly beyond me, and what the actors and the cinematographer and all the rest bring to the finished film. A film is much more a team effort than most kinds of art I can think of. Of course this is merely a fanciful conceit of mine and likely God is snickering at me for missing the point but I don't mind giving God a good chuckle. It seems to be the least I can do.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Baltimore is fucking awesome

We went up to Mobtown today to pick up Chris' car. This is the 350 dollar Geo Storm I found for him on Craig's List a few weeks ago.

We met a charming cat, saw a guy with a patch over one eye, some beautiful murals, found a movie that is shooting, no I don't know which one, and in general I am totally exhausted. Good times though, esp the guy with the patch on his eye. I wonder if he is in the movie.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Terrible day for phones

An absolutely appalling day on the phone today. I'm terribly behind in my utility bills, partly because I have no money right now and partly because I have trouble paying anything I can't pay online.

When you're so ill you have to work from your bed and lie down part of the day, when you're so ill you had to give your acting and your acting paychecks but still pay your union dues and you just have no energy and you still throw up out of the blue paying online can be quite the blessing.

I've been trying to sort out my electric and phone bills. Of course I error out when I try and pay online for some unknown reason. Then I get locked out and give up and resort to the telephone and have to call and call and call and call because I keep getting disconnected or I'll be transferred to a busy line.

I got a call today from the phone company telling me to call them, a curiously inefficient way of doing things and when I did I got this woman who sounded like she was so bored she could barely be bothered to keep her heart beating.

She said my phone had been sent to be shut off and I had to pay nearly 400 dollars to get it turned back on. That it would go off at any second and there was nobody who could help me anywhere. She kept asking what I wanted to do and I kept saying I wanted to know what I could do and I finally asked her if she could at least pretend she was interested in the conversation or my predicament to which she said she couldn't respond to that and I hung up rather than yell at her.

Then I called the regular line and spoke to robot woman who said she thought I would like to make payment arrangements, was that correct, and then said I could pay 175 today and 56 at the end of the month. Then I asked robot woman to please transfer me to a person, which she did.

The new person said I didn't owe the nearly 400 at all, that is what I will owe come October 15th and that the arrangements I made with robot woman were splendid and not to worry.

Isn't that crazy?

Later in the day this woman called up to see if I would donate to breast cancer research. She sounded terribly concerned about this horrible disease and when I told her I was donating through and the Baltimore race for the cure she was quite disappointed and hung up in my ear.

Speaking of pogo I was playing hearts over the weekend and I shot the sun. I wasn't even sure that you could really do that and I am now utterly pleased and I don't care if I play another hand of Hearts as long as I live.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

There are none so blind as those who don't know a A near pair of Louis XVI style paint decorated and parcel gilt fauteuils when they see them

Back in the day some of my brothers and sisters and I had a pretty sweet thing going on. We were living in San Francisco and we used to go down to Butterfield and Butterfields warehouse auctions and bid on mixed lots of books and such. This would be with whatever money we made babysitting or whatever since we were so freaking poor.

We could sometimes pick up a box of books for three bucks. Possibly less. We're talking 25 years ago so I don't want to swear but I think I once bought a box for a dollar.

Then we would sort though the books and take the ones that looked interesting. Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, which later was filmed as the Money Pit comes to mind.

When we were done we would go off to various used book stores and sell all the books. Once we got a book that was worth hundreds of dollars. Talk about good times!

I was just thinking about that and talking to Cul and I took him over to the website of Butterfields and was a trifle shocked that their name is now Bonhams & Butterfields.

We were looking at various auctions and found one for important European furniture. I explained to Cul that Butterfields is always important. We were looking at "A near pair of Louis XVI style paint decorated and parcel gilt fauteuils"

when I realized that if I saw these estimated $4000 - $6000 chairs sitting by the side of the road with a free sign on them I would look at them for a moment, look closing at the carving, shake my head, wonder at the ugliness of them and go on my merry way.

Perhaps that explains how despite my promising start in the secondary market back in the day I can still barely make my rent payments all these many years later.

Monday, September 20, 2004

But who is going to pay for it?

Moving further into this Left Behind series I am still plagued by questions. My main concern, why are there so few women characters and why are they all one dimensional has been somewhat alleviated but I have another problem.

The Trib Force (isn't that just too charming by half?) is posting Tsion's messages about Antichrist and his interpretation of Revelation on an anonymous message board to keep The Man from stopping him.

Let's just ignore all the logical reasons why you are never really anonymous on the Internet and how no doubt The Man would destroy the people who ran the message board and talk about a simple practical matter.

There a bazillion trazillion people posting and reading this board everyday. Who the heck is paying for all that bandwidth?

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Lack of communication

I had a dream this morning that my computer was trying to check my email (exciting, I know) and it kept saying an "unknown error has occurred". Normally my computer does not talk. Finally I told it that the reason it couldn't get my mail was because it was turned off and you can't communicate with someone who is turned off or not receptive to the message.

When I woke up more I thought that was a statement that applies to a lot more than just my computer.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Where is Sandi or Sandy Moore?

I bought a bunch of Trixie Belden books from eBay a couple of months ago. I didn't pay much attention to the inscriptions as I knew they were used but then I found one with some remarks by the previous owner who had written which one was her favourite and why.

When I went back and looked I saw she had written her name in all of them and she had marked the pages that list other titles. She circled the ones she had, put special marks next to the ones she seemed to really like and wrote in the names of titles that weren't listed by the publisher.

I find her oddly endearing. She must have gone through that phase that so many girls go through where they play with the spelling of their names. She has Sandy Moore written in every book but then some say Sandi Moore. She has placed a small heart instead of a dot over an I here or there but not consistently. It's so sweet that she did that. I like to think of her lying on her belly reading these books imagining that she is the girl detective who has a quick temper but is endlessly loyal.

I don't know your story Sandy Moore but I hope that you are happy and you are everything you dreamt of when you were young.

Friday, September 17, 2004

A little disconcerting

I'm reading Assassins, book number eleventy-seven times infinity in the Left Behind series.

I just flipped it open and noticed and inscription on the frontispiece. It reads:


It was great to have you here. I hope you will enjoy this one.


Scott and Kay

Christmas '99

The thing that makes that a little creepy is that this is a library book.

Did Scott and Kay write a little loving message to Dad in a library book? That would be queer.

Or did someone give the book to the library and it magically became a book to lend instead of one of the books they sell at the front for a $1.50 for hardbacks?

Did Dad not enjoy the book? What happened here?

Thursday, September 16, 2004

My poor doctor

I have a wonderful primary care doctor. She cares about me, she worries about me, she spends lots of time trying to cure my bizarre ailments, she watches movies and TV shows I am in and she is smart and funny and wise.

I went to see her today as a followup for my ER visit and I mentioned that my insurance company had offended me by questioning this asthma drug she prescribed for me. I have a hard time with the traditional inhalers because the propellants make me have a bronchospasm so my doctor had given me something more like a rotohaler and my insurance didn't like it.

I told my doctor that I thought my insurance company had a lot of nerve questioning her when she has taken such good care of me for so many years and she said she doesn't think she has because I keep getting these weird diseases.

I felt terrible. It's not my doctor's fault I got meningitis and pseudotumour cerebri and DVTs and all the rest of it. She's kept me alive through some dangerous situations and she should be proud of herself. I hope she can see things that way.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

"I had to kiss my husband goodbye in front of the Antichrist"

I'm reading these Left Behind books and I am on book three, Nicolae. They are not terrible. Better than says The Da Vinci Code. The writing is a little tighter and more interesting. They all have an agenda of course just like Da Vinci Code does.

Parts of the book are suprisingly funny, such as the above quote, although I am not entirely convinced they are meant to be funny.

The title of book two was quite funny. Tribulation Force. It sounds best if you yell it out in a dramatic voice and be sure to hiss the ess sound in Forccccce. Good times.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Annapolis vs. Philly and Alien Tiger traps

Why is Annapolis, a film about the Naval Academy, being shot in Philly and not Annapolis? It's not unheard to do a film in the place where it is meant to take place. Unlikely perhaps but it does happen.

Mike Lemon is doing the casting for this film. Take a day off of work to drive to Philly or mail in my headshots and resume? The dizzying choices available in this line of work are overwhelming.

I was doing a search for alien tiger traps on google and was a little disheartened to discover that I can find directions for trapping an alien (and recipes that are both tasty and good for you) or tiger traps but not both. I got this reply:

Your search - build "alien tiger trap" - did not match any documents.

Isn't that appalling? My choices here are lose a little faith in the Internet or create my own alien tiger trap blueprints. I've been thinking I need a good image for the background for a friend's website so perhaps that's where a good alien tiger trap blueprint image would go to good use.

In the meantime perhaps this blog will be the number one site for how to build an alien tiger trap information. Maybe I should say alien tiger trap one more time just to be sure.

Monday, September 13, 2004

How did he manage this?

I'm curious as to whether Batman could have gotten away with something similar at the White House. I fear he would have been shot as soon as he set foot on the White House Lawn.

Which reminds me if I hear the expression "Guns don't kill people" one more time I shall run mad.

Let's make a list of other things that don't kill people.


What about cobras? Do they kill people? The whole concept baffles me.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

The W is for Women, no really

I got some spam from the Bush campaign that tells me that the W is for Women website is now up.

Let me get this straight, the man who cried like a schoolboy facing exam week because someone made fun of his name now wants us to call him George Woman Bush? It's like some bitter joke that's not really very funny.

The spam assures me that Woman Bush is the candidate for women. Do tell. Let me see now, what has he done for reproductive rights? Passed that fake partial birth abortion thing that opens the door to banning all abortions. Mind you I am personally not someone who would get an abortion under any circumstances even though I take a medicine that would require my doctor to abort any pregnancies against my will, and isn't that interesting? But I believe very strongly that when abortion is illegal women will die from terrible home abortions or those purchases illegally.

It's all very well to rant and rave about how people should be more careful and more responsible but you can't fool mother nature all of the time. I know people who are married who have gotten pregnant on every form of birth control, the pill, the old sponge, IUD, tubal ligation, etc and some of these women got pregnant twelve years after tubal ligantions or after their husbands got vasecectomies, twelve years, what a shock that must have been. So there you have it the body will get pregnant no matter what and we have to be prepared to face the fact that not everyone will be willing or able to carry through on those pregnancies.

Moving on, has Woman Bush made it any safer to be a woman? Are crimes against women down? Are there fewer rapes, murders, kidnappings, and has spousal abuse gone away?

Is the glass ceiling gone? Do women have equal rights? Can I go outside in just my shorts to mow my lawn like my fat beer swilling neighbour? (that last one is not so serious)

What about mothers like me who have children who are just exactly the right age to be drafted? Are we sleeping better at night? Do we not worry about the possible draft? What about those of us who are the parents of military personnel or are in the military? Are we better off?

What exactly is your point George Woman? I'm afraid I have failed to grasp exactly how you are the woman's candidate.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Perhaps a little research would have been in order

After using the name "the littlest elder god" for maybe a year I found this link. pao is the one who named me. When I asked him I "why am I the littlest elder god?" he said "You just are" and who can argue with that logic. All this time I thought cthulhu was my older cousin or something, but no, time to reevaluate.

Lemony Snicket almost killed me today. I was reading The Reptile Room and when I came to this bit

"Goodness!" he cried. "Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne!" etc, I laughed so hard I went into a terrifying coughing spell that left me utterly unable to move. It was well worth it though. What a terrific book and a brilliant writer.

Friday, September 10, 2004


The topic for today's NMN Weekend Edition was remembering September 11. I was reluctant to even work on formatting this thing. I believe strongly that we need no reminders. Life itself is a reminder to me. Every time I look at a picture of New York I see the absence of the WTC like a tumour.

The articles we ran turned out to be quite nice. I would link them but I will eventually overwrite them anyway and I hate links that don't work the way they are supposed to.

The weekend before 9/11 the boys and I were up in NYC to see Dan. They wanted to go see the WTC and I wanted to go see the dinosaurs. My famous last words "Let's go see the dinosaurs. We'll go to the WTC next month. It's not like it's going anywhere."

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Just say no to iatrogenic reactions

I took Cam with me when I went to the ER night before last. He asked and I said all right. We'd been there about an hour and a half when a new nurse came out and made a very important announcement, designed, I believe, to show us how important she is. She said that all the hospitals in Anne Arundel county, and she made it sound like are thousands as opposed to two, were on yellow alert and she didn't know why everyone in the county was so ill. Then she read a list of names to verify that everyone waiting hadn't given up and gone home.

My name was not one of the fifteen she called out. Cam got a little worried and walked up to make sure I had not been dropped off the list. She asked how long I had been waiting and then said in a very snippy voice that an hour and a half was not a wait. I think it's not a long time to wait at an ER but it is a wait and there was no reason for her to be so rude to Cameron.

At that point we called Chris and asked him to take Cam home so he would get some sleep before school the next day. It's a good thing we did because I didn't get home until 6:30 am.

The triage nurse called me very soon after Cam left. She listened to my lungs and called respiratory therapy right away. She had me sit where she could keep an eye on me until I had a nebulizing treatment and then she sent me for a chest x-ray.

After awhile a nurse came in and took me to a room and listened to my lungs. My wheezing was nearly gone but I was still coughing a lot. I went into a paroxysm and lunged for the trash can so I wouldn't vomit on the floor but the nurse grabbed me and told me to stay put. So I did what anyone would do and I threw up all over the floor, luckily missing her feet.

Several hours and another treatment later she moved me across the hall to the more sick area because of course you don't want to fool around with someone with a history of bloodclots and a nasty cough.

Eventually I fell asleep but I hurt too much to get any real rest.

Then a doctor came in and said my lungs sounded good and did I want another treatment before I went home? He was fairly condescending and asked me questions like did I knew what an inhaler is and do I have a regular doctor.

Then he said to go home and to use my inhaler but not more than every four hours and to come back if I needed it more often than that. I pointed out that I had already had two nebs and I was still coughing until I passed out or threw up so I met his requirements for returning and I hadn't even left yet. He thought for a minute and offered me a prescription for some cough suppressant.

Then he asked me if I thought I needed some steroids.

I have a mixed opinion of questions like this. I do think that I know my body better than anyone else and I am quite good at diagnosing and I like to be involved but on the other hand I'm not a doctor so why is he asking me?

I said "I have pseudotumour cerebri. If I were a doctor I would be extremely hesitant to prescribe steroids unless I absolutely knew for certain they were necessary and would not exacerbate the existing disease."

He sat there blinking and looking at me for four or five blinks and then he said I was right. It's funny to see someone reevaluate you right on the spot.

End result no steroids, an offer for me to not work for three days, which I did not take as I work from home, and perhaps a clear sign that I am way too sick to be thinking about participating in the training for the next AIDS marathon. I did ask for a sign and I think this may have been it. Since the group is about to start three mile runs and I can't even walk to the bathroom without coughing myself blue I think that I might need to wait for the 2006 race.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Test one two three, anything but that - rent

Many of the features I tried to install on my old template wouldn't work. Things like comments and titles. I've just installed a clean, simple, blue template and I want to see if everything works now. I think the old template was so archaic (an entire 18 months old) that nothing new would function.

Of course now I have no idea where I should put my links. Oh well tomorrow when I am feeling better perhaps I will be able to work on that and also tell the tale of the doctor who annoyed the hell out of me this morning.

Sometimes when I am very tired something will seem like a funny idea and then it will turn out to be idiotic.

I was at the ER until 6 or so this morning. I came home and fell asleep until the library called me around one. Then I called my boss to see if he sent out the special technology report or if I should do it. He had not so I said I would do it and we got to talking, as we do, and he made me laugh until I was couldn't breathe again.

I got the brilliant idea to call my friend Kevin, who knew I was going to the hospital but didn't know how bad my cough sounded, and let him listen to my terrible cough. Unfortunately I was only coughing for a few seconds when I got out of control again and couldn't stop. There's a lesson in there. It's often easier to start something than it is to stop it.

Monday, September 06, 2004

How am I supposed to tell a story in less than 150 characters?

I just did my profile and my random question was The children are waiting, tell them the story of the bald frog and the wig. I misread it at first and thought it said the bad frog and the wig but then I fixed my error and wrote this. Sadly it is way over the 150 character maximum so it makes it's debut as a post instead.

Once upon a time when we all lived in the forest and nobody lived anywhere else there lived a very sensitive frog.

All his life this frog had heard people ask the question "how are you?" and heard the reply of "Fine as frog hair." The poor frog hung his head in shame every time he heard this expression because he had no fine frog hair. He was as bald as the day is long.

He took to hiding deep in his pond so nobody would know about his terrible condition. When he did venture forth he put mud upon his head in a vain attempt to simulate dreadlocks.

One day as he was hopping down the road the sun came out from behind the clouds and dried his mud to nothing but dirt. His beautiful natty dreads were no more! He was just a frog with dirt on his head.

For one heartbreakingly long moment he thought he would cry but no, he dug deep into his froggy heart and pulled out some courage. He dusted himself off and hopped on his way again. Soon he came to a little girl spinning wool as she watched her sheep.

"Greetings my fine frog" she said. "How fare you this day?"

"I'm splendid" he replied. "Indeed I would be beyond splendid if you would spare me a little wool to make a wig for my poor bald head."

"Oh no" said the moppet. "Chicks dig guys who are all about confidence. They don't dig guys who are fake. Forgo the wig my little friend and go ye and pull in the chicks without artificial aid."

And that is precisely what the frog did. He went on to father countless billions of tadpoles and died a legend at a ripe old age.

New film stuff springs up all over. This is new.

I see the Rude Mechanicals are casting for Hamlet. I am three percent tempted to audition. If David R. was still living here I would definitely do it. But I don't know. I have done little theater since I had Cam. Just a couple of things here and there and of course all those years at Renn Fair.

I should get my new (ha ha) headshots into the SAG talent directory, join Women in Film and Video and the Baltimore Theater Alliance. Where the heck am I going to get the money to do all this? I should be eligible for some sort of Small Business grant I swain.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

I think maybe I am thinking too much these days. Maybe worrying too much is more accurate.

I need new headshots because I got my hair cut short so now I don't look like my headshot. Not that I ever did. I always think I look like a transvestite in that picture. It's so discouraging. I have spent a grand on headshots since I started doing film again in 98 and I hate all of my pictures.

I don't wear makeup but you have to have makeup for the pictures. Something to do with it being black and white but it makes no sense to me. Shamus have me the kiss of death when I went in for the Wedding Crashers audition. He said I don't look anything like my picture and that is before I cut my hair. Good feedback but expensive.

I am behind on my union dues again. I got the notice right before I moved and then I forgot about it. Union dues, new headshots, makeup, reproduction and then what? Let's say I spend all that money and then I get a call to do some work and I am too sick to do it. That is my fear. So far I have managed to do two movies and a TV show while sick but the last one I was effectively blinded by the lights on the set. I would be mortified if I couldn't do the work after I was hired because of my brain. So I sit here thinking thinking thinking and getting pissed off because I missed out on the Wire and now will on XXX Enemy of the State.

Maybe I should call SAG and talk to someone there about getting on the disabled list. It sucks to be so sick and look so healthy.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

We don't really need any reminders do we?

I saw that the president of the US said that the attack on the school in Russia was a "grim reminder " of terrorism. Chris says he makes it sound like a post it note.

President. Putin says that Russia grieves. Mr. Putin for what it is worth I grieve also. My family grieves. I should think anyone with a heart and a speck of compassion grieves. The assault was a terrible horrific ordeal with an unspeakable ending and I cry for Russia. May God watch and keep everyone damaged by these events.

And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.
Mark 10:16 NIV

Friday, September 03, 2004

Anne Rice's Blackwood Farm has no ending. I know, I know I have had a lot of problems with endings lately but really, this book does not end it just stops. It doesn't quite stop in mid sentence but it's awfully close.

It was terribly disappointing because I like the book quite a lot. I would like to see Mona be more fleshed out as she was in previous books. After all I have loved Mona for many years but still a good book with no ending. It's enough to make me weep.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Hate makes me tired. There is so much political ranting around these days and so much us vs. them and everyone but the speaker is an idiot. It wears me out and kind of ruins my mood.

I'm trying to read a copy of Cosmopolitan which I purchased for some twisted reason I haven't yet figured out and it just seems to be filled with more hate. I'm reading the bit where you "confess all" and these people are confessing that they "get revenge" for the tiniest slights. It's discouraging.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

This was interesting.

I tried this tool which guesses what sex a writer is.

When I did the entry about New Dehli it guessed I was a woman but it wanted more text as I only fed in 2xx words. It likes >500.

I tried again with the posts about the car shopping and the race track and threw in the bit about happy fun dancing and it guessed I was a man. HA!

How can I be mad when talking to someone from New Delhi?

I called up one of my credit card companies today because I got my statement and there is a charge for a bounced check. I didn't actually bounce a check. I was sick so Cul called up and paid for my account over the phone for me but he got confused and entered the check number instead of the account number.

We tried to talk to someone in customer service right after to get it straightened out but we couldn't get ahold of anyone and then I figured nobody would actually try and process a check on an account that was clearly only three digits so we let it go.

Obviously that was a mistake so I called them up today and got a guy in New Delhi. I told him I was angry and I wanted to speak to someone who was used to talking to angry people and he said he wanted to talk to me which makes him either very brave or a fool. But then I asked him where he was and when he told me I couldn't be mad at him anymore. What kind of life does he have? I have no idea but me being mad isn't going to make his life any easier. But damn it stings that he wouldn't listen to my problem.